| "Public" is a word and a concept that AB/DL and trans-folks are very weary of. Many of us keep our private lives private, and there’s a lot of power to the person who’s a construction worker 95% of their lives and a sissy frilly baby girl or lipstick blonde knockout for the other 5%, I guess it’s a little like the person who’s walking around 95% of the time and on rollercoaster’s the other 5%. I definitely don’t feel the same way about girls underwear as I did when I wore boxers all the time. Those of us that have the ability and have a strong enough desire to bring our true selves into the “public” face a great deal of adversity. People aren’t ok with things like this because there are no positive role-models in the public eye, things are getting better for trans-girls but it’s still really hard, I’m blessed to live in a place that is as open-minded as my town. and king baby is basically the western concept of AB/DL life. AB/DL stuff is a long way off to becoming public, because it really shouldn’t be public, wearing diapers in public is ok but being too open about it is really bad, same with sucking on a paci and wearing a baby doll dress walking down the street ( but if its Berkeley or Burning Man go ahead) Transgenderism is a different story. I’ve always felt awkward as a boy, Mens rooms always make me nervous and I can’t remember a time when I used a urinal. I’ve gotten along well with guys my whole life (and plan to spend the rest of my life with the right one), I’m really socially warm-blooded, I can convincingly talk about bikes and bitches if the situation persists. Before I started living as a woman I was always afraid that showing my true self would be perceived as exhibitionism and me imposing some weird fetish on others, but being around other trans-people and understanding that all my boy traits have been imposed on me by society and my peers lets me be free to live as I choose, the way that makes me happy. Starting to pass as a woman opened up a lot of new feelings, I pass 100% of the time if I’m dressed, If you’ve never seen me before you’ll see me as a girl, this fact is proven everyday in my life. Unfortunately I’m constantly read by people that knew me before I was a full-time girl, but people usually are just curious as opposed to angry Sometimes they get angry, but I try to not dwell on those stories. Ok, just one. I was on the MTS (regional transit in San Diego) and a homeless guy I had seen a couple times on the street before was staring at me and totally read me, and started yelling on a rush-hour train “you better get off!!! this ain’t the tranny express!!!”. Being stuck on a train with every different type of person staring at every part of you trying to find a bulge or just totally scrutinizing me was some kind of hell. Luckily this nice Goth gentleman told the homeless man to politely “shut the fuck up”, but until I got off I was a nervous wreck. It’s worth every bit of it though, having lived my life as a goofy, introverted, awkward boy to a cute, outgoing but still goofy girl makes me feel so right in living the way I do. Everyone’s always nice to me, I can clothes shop freely and actually use public restrooms without anxiety. Everything is different now and I couldn’t be happier I’ve yet to start taking hormones but I'm finally ready to start, I ‘m comfortable and positive about spending the rest of my life, public and private, as a girl!  |
Happy for you! :)