Actually, lets get the diaper stuff out of the way... I did leak this morning, I went to bed in my other clothie, the purple one from this video, I wanted to wear something cute and fun, I was in a good mood. It has a waterproof cover, so I didn't wear plastic panties, but I totally should have. I woke up and really needed to wet, and "tested" the diaper by wetting while laying on my back holding my bear. Needless to say, I soaked myself and leaked onto my sheets. Yet another diaper that goes into the "play" pile of diapers that I can't trust. I put on a Bambino to make myself feel better :)
Still in a Bambino, I get all layered up to go out into the cold and have lunch with my mom and brother. I told them about the job interview and they were excited, I told them they'd call back by 1 and we met at around noon. At around 1:10 I started to feel pretty nervous, and I think my family lost a little faith in me. At this point I was thinking maybe I missed the call or something, but I was really optimistic about this job. I came home and called them, at maybe 1:30. The conversation went something like this.
-----------
*ring ring*
Riley: "Hi there, this is *my name*, I came in for a job interview yesterday and I was told I would recieve a call back by 1, I was on the phone quite a bit this morning (lie) so I'm afraid I might have missed it."
Receptionist: "uhmmm... We always schedule second interviews immediately following your first interview"
Riley: "I was told they call back for the second interview"
Receptionist: "I don't know who or why someone told you that"
Riley: "....well I'm very interested in the position, I would love the opportunity to prove I'd be a good addition to your organization, I'm experienced and hihgly motivated"
Receptionist: "If they didn't schedule a 2nd appointment, then you can Re-Apply in 30 days for the position"
Riley: "Really? Is there anyway I could maybe speak with my interviewer? I'd like to know where I could improve"
(this space is filled with about 5 minutes of me convincing her to get off her ass and go find my resume, she was jerking me around saying she didn't know who did the interview and couldnt find out, but c'mon, they only interview 2 people at once every hour, I knew she could find out something)
Receptionist: (coming back from hold) "I have your Resume here, let me look at the notes. Here it is, it says you have low tones and don't speak very clearly."
Riley: "Excuse me? Low tones?"
Receptionist: "thats what it says so if you'll just call back in 30 days you'll be able to try again"
Riley: "Ok, your interviewer took one look at my drivers liscense and decided to not hire me, How is low tones even a negative thing? This is a clear discrimination issue and I plan to conta-"
Receptionist: "You have the right to do whatever you want"
*click*
diiiiallllltooooneeeee
------------I'm really glad I had a pillow right next to me, I screamed into my pillow and felt really helpless, I'm better now, but I still feel really out-of-place, I can't even get the easiest job in the world. The interview took maybe 3 minutes tops, it seems less like an interview and more a way to weed out undesirables, basically the opposite of affirmative action. They probably figured I would be nothing but trouble in a masculine environment, all the managers I could see were men, and the team was chanting "GET MONEY" at one point. Low tones is a clear jab at my gender orientation, I spoke in my usual, cute voice, and read the script perfectly, no stutters, nothing.
I'm just disappointed, I don't want to start applying for jobs as a guy, but thats what its about to come down to. That would be a huge step backwards in my life, I'm hopefully going to be starting the next step in hormones by this weekend, and my breasts are growing to the point where I look silly as a guy. It's hard not to feel like I've made the wrong decision, that I've turned myself into an unhireable being (I really wanted to use the word monster or freak here, but lets not be overly dramatic) and having a disadvantage in the job market is not fun when you're trying to make ends meet all on your own in a city getting rocked by the recession.
I did some research on this company before I went to the interview, and I found this Rip-Off report, I just ignored it in my optimism... seems like a pretty corrupt group. Its funny and sad at the same time going back to yesterdays post, I'm not going to post any of this stuff until after a week of being diapered, so you'll probably read this and the previous post at the same time, its strange to see me so happy about something I'm so angry about now, I was so psyched yesterday for this job, and now i'm the opposite, I was floating and now I'm crushed. I'm going to wear this bambino until its so soaked that I can't hardly walk while watching Ma Via En Rose, a movie about a little boy who thinks and acts like a little girl, its supposed to be uplifting. More stuff tomorrow.
Dec. 16th -----------------------
I did call the local transgender law center, just haven't heard back from anyone yet, damn holidays :(
Subscribe in a reader
5 comments:
don't confront me with my failures, I have not forgotten them