A couple times in my life I've visited salons, always little Asian places, usually a little bit away from my home. Before I had the uncanny ability to not care, I used to think it would be embarrassing to be seen getting a pedicure. Not from a trans-girl perspective but more from a dental work perspective... it's hard to explain, I just don't like being seen having "work done", I feel like I'm being caught with my chassis open. Anyway, I've been to a couple when I could afford it, always just have gotten a pedicure and went on my way, the paints worn off and my feet have grown back... I'm a runner, I should take better care of my feet!
This time I plan to actually keep a better eye on my feet... but this post isn't about feet horror, it's about face horror. I went in and got a pedicure at a place I've never been to before, its the closest to my house so I was hoping to frequent it. Pedicure was nice and long, felt good afterwards and the place was completely empty. The lady there barely spoke english, just enough to get instructions and ask me a question about what happened to Brittany Murphy, apparently I was interrupting her magazine reading. I said I'd come back to do my eyebrows, which I did a couple days later. This was the first time having my eyebrows waxed, I was nervous but excited to get rid of these damn Eugene Levy caterpillars. She took me to the back room, without really saying anything had me lay down, poured hot lava on my face and tore it off, no 123go or words exchanged whatsoever. Just in case you're wondering, it hurts, it hurts bad, I squeaked pretty bad a couple times. but the pain goes away pretty quick. 5 minutes after I lay down, she has me look in the mirror and my eyes are all red and puffy but my brows look more normal, she's got a chart from the 80's with all these different brows on it, mine looked more like the feminine ones... so success?
Nope, like always, life reverts back to fail. My face felt a little sticky (insert joke here) so I asked her if there was some way to take care of that, and again without words she squirts out what looks, smells and felt like handsanitizer and rubs it above my right eye. It stuuung, I was pretty close to grabbing her wrist and pulling her hand away, but I thought she might know best, and we were all alone in the salon too so grabbing this tiny Asian lady would probably be a bad call. It's kinda weird being around such a small person, this woman was 4'10'' at most and probably weighed 80 lbs, I felt like a giant at 5'7'' and 120 lbs whereas I usually feel small around people, most of my friends are bigger than me, I'm usually the little delicate flower... maybe after the Estrogen I can start taking Asian hormones.
Racist comments aside, the conclusion of this story is I have a huge rash on the right side of my face, all around my eye. After the hand sanitizer thing I gave her my 10$ and left, went home and took a shower just as fast as I could. My face felt puffy, I lived the rest of my day out and went to bed feeling awfully girly with my new eyebrows. I woke up and looked in the mirror the next day and almost started crying, I was going to take a picture but forget that, I'm trying to look good, I don't have that much humility. It seriously looks like I tried to eat a piece of pizza with my eyesocket, its sensitive and burny and hurts. Of course, the side that didn't have alcohol put on it immediately after being waxed is fine, it actually looks pretty good, I feel like Harvey fucking Dent right now, half of me is pretty and the other half is melting off, it's not that bad, but still.
Old testosterone Riley would probably have gone into that salon like gangbusters and tried to get my money back, or at least told her not to use that stuff anymore for cleaning off wax, but I'm just going to eat this one and never goto that salon again. I'm going to find out if theres lotions specifically for your face, I use a cleanser, but not lotion, I guess I should get some anyway. Anyway, my face hurts, this post is negative and overtly racist so I'm going to wait until after the holidays to post this, when it's easier to get away with being those things. Hope all is well in the diapered world, and hopefully by the time I post this, my face will be all cute again :)
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3 comments:
don't confront me with my failures, I have not forgotten them